The Traveling Tribe - Misfits on Tour
We are Misfits...Cricket..... a Drinking Club with a Cricket
Misfit Mongrels Reach Semis in Saigon 6's - Mumbia Matt Wins
Ashes Game 1 - Aussies Draw 1st Blood - by Captain Coco Powe
Misfits Ashes Season 2011 commenced with the crew from England (and Wales and South Africa etc) salivating at the though of emulating their once in a twenty six year heros. Unfortunately for them, it took a near record 38 overs (out of a scheduled 60) for the Aussies to commence the process of resurrecting some national pride. The Pommy day started off in usual fashion. First, they condescendingly laughed at the attempt by the Aussies to co-ordinate pre-match aussie rules and rugby attire, and then heckled the gold and green playing gear worn proudly by their opposition, preferring to play in a motley collection of whites, creams, grays and beiges, notwithstanding accepted pyjama wear custom for these matches. Finally, they elected to convert a reasonable start of 3 for 85 from 13 overs (helped by superb innings from Ben F and James U, the latter somewhat agricultural) into a score of all out for 130 from 21 overs. I don’t think I saw Salman Butt in the crowd, but you never can tell who is lurking in the background with Giri and Micky at CSC. Bondy showed a couple of Div one players some areas of their batting they could, perhaps, work on and Phil Simmonds (who bitched and moaned about how injured and ill he was…eating too much chilli methinks) took a magnificent 4 for 18. Jig thought nothing about taking the last two wickets in his only over to clean things up for the Aussies. These guys were well supported by Dave J who took no less than 4 catches and a stumping. Well done, mate, a fifor…. Following the change, the only real impact the Pommy bowling had was to shatter the box of opener Richie…not that it stopped him retiring out for a masterful 37...just pipping the 34 the Poms gave away in extras…yes, in 17 overs. Richie was backed by stand in opener Ash P and first drop Angry Pete, both hitting 20+. Finally, G-ED cruelly deprived stand in skipper Coco the glory of hitting the winning runs by bowling (another) 5 wides down leg. At the very least, the Poms seemed content to end the brutal molestation with a friendly beer (mind you, the first beer was cracked just after 4 pm and the Aussies commend the Poms for adding another two hours of drinking time to the afternoon) and a final sledge along the lines of “well, at least we have the real Ashes”. Be prepared for that to form a staple part of the English vocabulary for the time being.
Misfits Ashes Season 2011 commenced with the crew from England (and Wales and South Africa etc) salivating at the though of emulating their once in a twenty six year heros.
Unfortunately for them, it took a near record 38 overs (out of a scheduled 60) for the Aussies to commence the process of resurrecting some national pride.
The Pommy day started off in usual fashion. First, they condescendingly laughed at the attempt by the Aussies to co-ordinate pre-match aussie rules and rugby attire, and then heckled the gold and green playing gear worn proudly by their opposition, preferring to play in a motley collection of whites, creams, grays and beiges, notwithstanding accepted pyjama wear custom for these matches. Finally, they elected to convert a reasonable start of 3 for 85 from 13 overs (helped by superb innings from Ben F and James U, the latter somewhat agricultural) into a score of all out for 130 from 21 overs. I don’t think I saw Salman Butt in the crowd, but you never can tell who is lurking in the background with Giri and Micky at CSC. Bondy showed a couple of Div one players some areas of their batting they could, perhaps, work on and Phil Simmonds (who bitched and moaned about how injured and ill he was…eating too much chilli methinks) took a magnificent 4 for 18. Jig thought nothing about taking the last two wickets in his only over to clean things up for the Aussies. These guys were well supported by Dave J who took no less than 4 catches and a stumping. Well done, mate, a fifor….
Following the change, the only real impact the Pommy bowling had was to shatter the box of opener Richie…not that it stopped him retiring out for a masterful 37...just pipping the 34 the Poms gave away in extras…yes, in 17 overs. Richie was backed by stand in opener Ash P and first drop Angry Pete, both hitting 20+. Finally, G-ED cruelly deprived stand in skipper Coco the glory of hitting the winning runs by bowling (another) 5 wides down leg.
At the very least, the Poms seemed content to end the brutal molestation with a friendly beer (mind you, the first beer was cracked just after 4 pm and the Aussies commend the Poms for adding another two hours of drinking time to the afternoon) and a final sledge along the lines of “well, at least we have the real Ashes”.
Be prepared for that to form a staple part of the English vocabulary for the time being.
4th March - Denis Meyer - Remembering the Good Times
Even though 4 years have passed since, our mate & mentor to many, Denis Meyer passed on to that great cricket square in the sky, his memory lives strong.
He made a mark on this world in many ways.... A great guy on the pitch and in the bar... who could forget that laugh, especially after a few beers... A great kids coach..... A great father.... A great husband.....
So this 4th of March in rememberance of his passing, laugh hard, and remember the good times..... and if you didnt have the fortune to know him, laugh hard and remember those that you may have lost, who had a zest for life and made everyone around them smile.
Denis we salute you and your family - your coaching on and off the pitch lives on, everytime Lorraine takes a wicket (and there have been many) everytime your sons Glen & Shane pass each milestone in life and every time a Misfits glass is raised.
Feb 2011 - Misfit Semi Finalists Rise to the Occasion at The
Misfit Talent Featured on ICC News Update
Misfits Cultural Delegation to the Chiang Mai 6's 2011 - Ski
Some You Win Some You Booze - Match Reports: Misfits Vs SCC
2 April 2011, SCC Misfits vs SCC Sat XI
This is a fixture that hasn’t been played for a while, and so was greatly anticipated for a couple of reasons. First for the long overdue opportunity to play on the newly laid Padang, ( the first time for a few virgins) and secondly because the world cup final was conveniently scheduled for after the game!
The SCC XI won the toss on blue sky’ed day and decided to send Misfits into bat. The Misfits put together a total of 126 (about 30 light) with notable digs from Moose (20 off 28) and Ed Molony a sparkling little 18 off 16.
The SCC XI went in to bat knowing the score was perhaps 20-30runs short, and started very well, although a touch slowly, largely due to some tight bowling from Slick Nick Power and Nara. The SCC opening bats managed to get to 72, before a couple of quick wickets got the heart rates going. In the end however SCC managed to get the target for the loss of 4 wickets through 25 overs. Slick Nick picked up 2 with Glen grabbing the other two wickets.
Needless to say there was a quick shower and then a few cold ones after during the WC final.++
16 April 2011, CSC -
16 April 2011, CSC -Spirits vs Misfits
Aah, the hugely enjoyed derby game. Always know for some decent banter, and tight finishes. With the CSC ground freshly mown, and overcast slightly rainy conditions the Misfits, winning the toss, sent the Spirits in to bat. A very lively opening spell from Phil Simmonds and Shane Meyer had the Spirits in a spot of bother on 27 for 3. However a decent partnership between Graeme Gardner and Kalpesh Patel helped revive the innings. Henry Duds had a cracking spell in the middle of the innings, picking up 4 wickets limiting the Spirits to a total of 120 runs.
Phil Simmonds and Nick Dorney got the Misfits innings off to a cracking start before Dorns was brilliantly caught and bowled by Rammy. Phil managed to go on and make a solid 44 runs which put the Misfits in a commanding position. A couple of quick wickets in the middle part of the innings got the heart rates going, seems to be trend developing here? Duds however came to the rescue with a valuable 29 which in the end helped the Misfits chase the total for a loss of 9 wickets in 22 overs.
Misfits Beat British Club by 77 Runs - by Mooses Surrogate S
Lying in bed Saturday morning looking forward to a lazy day, no plans, not even cricket. The phone rings, its Blocka, Misfits are short, Moose got hit by a pizza delivery bike and has dropped out with a twisted leg (the bike is in bits!), can you play he says......ok who is skipper.... you are he says!!
And so it came to pass at 1-00pm I won the toss and elected to bat with a nice mixed bag of Misfits, the kind of team that I lie to play with. Ranga and Shane Meyer opened and got us off to a great start but Ranga insisted on trying to drive the short balls and eventually nicked one to slip, in came Prakash (the new CEO of SCA) for his debut. Mani joined him after a fine 33 from Shane, and the two batmen really hit out. Mani perished after scoring 39 and at drinks we were 112 for 2 off 15 overs. I pushed our target to 200 and asked all the batsmen to go for it. Prakash retired on 56 and then we were treated to a great last few overs from Nishan and Rubbish who put on 58 with some pretty big hitting, taking our 30 over score to a fine 236 for 5.
British Club got off to a flyer, thanks to some wayward deliveries from Rubbish and some big hitting from former Misfit Mark Allison, but we soon got the measure of him with some judicious field placings and some line and length bowling. By 15 overs they were 80 for 4 and 112 for 6 after 20 overs. This enabled everyone to get a bowl, we used 10 bowlers and 7 of us got a wicket and we managed 2 run outs with British Club finishing with 159 for 9. Their captain Ali deserves a mention for his fine mis-fielding display, with dropped catches and several refusals.
All in a great game, great spirit and good fun. Glad for the call and also pleased Moose is ok (he hobbled to the ground and even managed a few overs umpiring).
HP Vs Misfits Match Report by HP Skipper Ghosh May 2011
After the game I was told to write the match report and the only words that was coming to my mind was ‘Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara Nara’. Darn even MS Word is showing too many red underlines. Cannot repeat the name that many times.
But after I came to senses (of course after drinking that much post match) my quest to write the match report began and darn I cannot remember most of the things from the match. Anyways will try my best, here's what I recall.
The moment I stepped into the ground, I saw more opened Singha beer bottles than players. I thought Cricket cannot be better!
Did not look like a bait match between Abhi and Inzi. But slowly all showed up and Abhi rightly called and sent Misfits to bowl.
The prominent face missing was Phil C who showed up without his pair of socks. When asked about his whereabouts last night his answer was a smile. Not sure if he was able to find a pair of socks, but he seemed not needed that much when HP started batting.
Kennie and Anchit opened cautiously the innings and Kennie hit couple of good shots but it was mostly Bruce Griggs and Phil Simmons fiery bowling. HP lost the openers cheaply. Once Kennie was out next couple went easily as the batsmen did not look to play long innings.At this point of time we were looking at an early resumption of drinking fest.
But then one guy stepped onto the ground. Newly capped for HP a big conflict of interest in mind and heart and he slowly started to stabilize the innings....HP batsmen started playing around him.
By then bowling change happened and Inzi still did not bring Phil Childs in to attack. Suddenly every one there was one boundary then it became two an over.
Rakesh and Nara started to hit the bowlers all over the park. At that point of time Inzi finally brought in Phil Childs and he started picking wickets on a regular interval. But by then it was too late and HP was comfortably scoring. Nara took the charge and Rahul gave great support to him to bring HP to 243 after 30 overs.
After a quick break Misfits started their innings with Phil Childs and Nick Dorney. He played a solid over where he scored two boundaries and there was a wide. Next over HP brought in a veteran and the very first ball was slower than he expected and short cover grabbed a dolly. Once he was in the hut Misfits slowly started building. One more wicket fell in the process while tried to pull and it went straight up.
After that Misfits again concentrated building. Ones and twos. Keeping the strike rotating between Nick Dorney and Phil Simmons. One odd boundaries and by end of 15 Misfits were 98.
That time even before knowing it became a very close game. Excellent batting by Dorney and Simmo. That point of time I remember Abhi was worrying as Inzi is still in the hut. And as you know no ground in Singapore is big enough if he gets going.
Not sure what HP folks were drinking during the break they started scalping wickets on a regular basis. And Abhi was relieved when he saw Inzi hit a cross batted shot to got himself bowled. After that it was mere time before the match was wrapped. Misfits finished with 150?
But it was fun all around. We were at CSC socializing till 11:30. Even though some of HP guys thought they left at 8:30. Great day of Drinking and Great contest.
Looking forward to do this again J
England 'finish on Top' of Kamasutra - Jun 25th Match Report
The first meeting between England and the ROW Kamasutras finished with a 21 run victory for the Poms.
Taking to the field first were the ROWs with the English soon finding themselves in an all too familiar position at 2 for 2 with both Richard Hussein and Kev Roberston departing early.
Childsy offered some resistance retiring just before drinks thanks to some generous catching or rather lack of it (cheers Abhi).
The 5 overs post drinks saw some tight ROW bowling with the English in danger of setting a fairly modest total. This was however until Will Halliday (27) and Olli Redrup (47) unleashed some mighty blows to see a competitive 180 on the board after 30 overs.
After the customary egg sandwiches which were in no danger of winning any Michelin stars the English took to the field.
With the katmsutras top 3 boasting a couple of hard hitting south africans it was going to need some tight, aggresive bowling and as it turned out some excellent umpiring for the poms to take control of the game. Destroyer in chief was debutant Nick Taylor (2-18) who took the scalps of Andre and Charles-bru.
Despite the good start for England the ROWs batted smartly and at drinks the honors were even thanks largely to Dharmik (47) and Shankar (31).
With the English needing early wickets after drinks it was down to spin twins hussein and muruthi to do the damage. As the wickets tumbled at regular intervals and with some tight death bowling by Halliday (2-4 from 2) the English wrapped up the game in the penultimate over.
Thanks to abhi's men and all the English who contributed to a thoroughly enjoyable match. A special mention goes to Alisdair Fergusons sensational outfield
catch which will go down in the misfit hall of fame.
Misfits Home Vs Home 9th July - by Winning Skipper Show Me T
Here is a true account of the friendly home vs home match that happened on the 9th of July.
The two teams turned up on time and all geared to have a go at one another..motivated and enthusiastic the action began, for what lie ahead was a hard fought game, a display of discipline and top-notch cricketing abilities.
Ok, fine everything from here on is a true account of the match..mostly true..ok..more true than not.
So, on the sunny noon, the misfits poured in sporadically one after the other and without fail heading to the bar counter first to grab their first pint of Heineken to kick things off. After all it was proven that net practice hasn’t helped many, at least not Ricky Ponting in the recent times, so why waste efforts there when Heineken is a cool enough substitute to warm you up. Most of the tribe members who had raised their paws to affirm their participation turned up and the headcounts were sorted out to realise we were short of 22 fit bodies to make a full match of 11-a-side and therefore had to cut it short to 10-a-side; which made sense given 1 in 11 is always too “drunk/useless/both” to be counted on anyways (stat is based on a time-tested mistfits ethnography survey). Just that it meant that all the players who fortunately/unfortunately made it had to be on top of their senses and motivated enough to play the game, challenge #1 for the day was already out there for both the teams to be up against.
The league match that was going on the CSC ground since morning came to a fitting end..in a battle of bottom place one team won and about 11 players proudly thumped their chests at rescuing their team from ending up lowest in their respective table..bravo!. Finally..after a delay of commonwealth games proportion or as they say in India “just after a minute” the misfits game was slated to start at 2.15pm cutting the match short to 25 overs per innings. At which the second assessment of headcounts revealed that there were eventually only 9 a side left for games with a couple of mysterious disappearances in the nick of time. Apparently we later found out that there could have been a mis-counting of sorts coupled with the fact that Mr. Javed Khan abruptly left on the premise that he didn’t know any of the misfits (barring Nara..and Nish) well enough to be able to enjoy the game with them and he was certainly in no mood to add to his Facebook friend list ..especially loathed the idea of having names such as Mani, Abhi, Ash, Pearcy etc etc on his friend list which would disturb the “feng-shui” & “numerology” perhaps (speculating..could’ve been bad tummy..but this version of the story seemed more interesting). So with depleted human resources the match began with gusto..if I haven’t used this word before..Finally.
This was an opportunity to unveil the skippering capabilities of two new skippers..misfits virgin skippers. While I was still stunned and shocked at being named the skipper for the game, the other misfits virgin skipper pearcy was battling it out against the hackers of his PC at home which meant, owing to the delay, Matt English was named the skipper instead for the other misfits team. Toss was done and Matt’s team went into bat first. Matt kicked things off in a way that would make any misfits captain proud..and that was playing out the first over of the match maiden and duly handing his wicket away without much fuss and scoreboard messing. The rest of the misfits from Matt’s team tried remarkably hard to emulate their captain some succeeding and some not. Abhi came in, took guard, announced his cricketing prowess (a league player that he is) with a smack to the fence but only to be cleaned up comprehensively by Ash Perot’s searing full length delivery. Vasanth was one notable exception and the only reason Matt’s side got to a 3 digited respectable total of 156?. He retired first at 25 and eventually came back after the 8th wicket fell to rejuvenate the side and ended up scoring a third of the team’s total (49). Pearcy and Nara too played a few strokes; all despite some fab bowling efforts from Rubbish, Ash and misfits virgin Saurabh who swung the ball both ways, confirming his multi-swing-ual skills. Good performances all round, but certainly not worthy of being a blasphemy to misfits’ lazy fielding culture which was signified in Hiten’s successful attempt to misfield a ball that came straight to him and then in my move (or lack of it) to catch a ball, which involved a karmic ritual of waiting for the ball to reach my palms rather than chasing it..shamefully also known as “catch avoidance” in some parlance (bloody unprofessionals..karma shall get you soon). The innings got over and with the help of a few cameos and some sensible batting Matt’s side got a total of 156 on the board after 25 overs in their batting innings. There was a contest on cards unlike what seemed at the start as a one-sided match.
Mani’s 11 …err.9..set out on the chase with Shankar and Ganesh (an opening combination right from Hindu-God’s dream 11) opening the batting with care and some silken shots off pretentious opening bowlers such as Rakesh/Nara especially by Shankar. Ganesh soon departed and was assigned to be the umpire for the rest of the match. That move, all of sudden had fielders, bowlers and batsmen scamper back to the dressing room and scout around for ear plugs or something equivalent to stuff their ears with. There was a brief batting collapse on one end with Shankar being rock-solid at the other end. Until, entered the scene Sir Ramesh Pandey..without further ado going about his task, punishing the menacing bowling from Lorraine and Anil Scott, thus breathing life back into the chase and making a mockery of the 25 run retirement scheme. He scored them faster that he would eat 25 Rotis. Richard Mason provided some assistance to the team’s chase by unfurling some brutal shots after taking his time to get his eye in. All in all, the retiree Shankar had to be resurrected in the end after the 8th wicket and he sealed the match off, easy as an Ireland vs England worldcup ODI.
What followed was the age old misfits’ traditional after game round-table piss-up and fines session. The only two to be fined were the skipper’s on either sides (gracious skippers) Matt for the duck and a dropped catch, while I was scathing at self for playing a maiden over and handing my wicket away in the last ball of that maiden over. After all, those were some fine(s) performances by the virgin skippers..and a perfect rounding of a friendly match, which was eventually elevated to the “over-friendly” status.
Like the wise old people say..just score as many runs as the expletives ganesh churns out in an over and you are looking at a century every single match.
SCC Sat XI Game 4 - Misfits Win Series 3:1 - Match Report By
Going into this game the Misfits were 2-1 up in the 4 game series, so it was essential that we win this game in order to lock up the trophy (even though there actually isn’t one) for another year.
I felt re-assured when I arrived at the ground to see a number of players already there and in the midst of warming up. CoCo and Jellyman were out on the pitch practicing their turners, Sherpa was digging into a Big Mac and Hammer was standing around talking shit with Natu…so everyone was sticking to their usual routines as instructed. Ollie worried me a little, turning up with a Subway that actually had some salad in it, but he explained that he hadn’t had anything green for a month, so I let it slide.
I was also encouraged to find that we were 2 players short, Andy “Bear” Covell, who amazingly had some issues with a Singapore Taxi driver (I have lived for a long time and never heard of this before!) and JC Cawood who was having some issues related to answering a phone call at 2am from a mate suggesting a visit to a well known establishment at the top of Orchard Road.
So no-one stretching, a couple eating junk food the others either smoking cigarettes or talking shit and 2 blokes missing, the traditional Misfit warm up was going exactly to plan. We also won the toss and not surprisingly chose to bat.
Ollie and Sherpa kicked off and gave us a very solid start taking us to 30 odd runs from 10 overs before both falling to what can only be described as boredom. Rich Mason was in at 3 and spent the first couple of overs watching his colleagues take turns to depart at the other end. Jellyman at 4 made the mistake of playing for movement from Ashok’s bowling and subsequently missed a straight one. Phil Marshall came in at 5 for his first bat since opening the innings with Hutton against the 1948 Australian side in Egbaston. Unfortunately his stay only lasted one ball with the Umpire (who shall remain nameless) firing him LBW to another straight one from Ashok. I tried to think of a reason not to give him, but other than “It was going under the stumps” couldn’t come up with one. So, 4-38 and looking a little shaky.
Fortunately we then had an injection of CoCo Power (just like a chocolate milk shake only paler) who along with the very much in-form Mason set about rebuilding the innings. They managed to get us to about the 120 mark before Coco succumbed and was replaced by a still “dazed and confused” JC, who walked to the crease and when taking guard asked the Umpire for two bourbon and cokes and ½ kilo of Biltong.
Mason then retired for a very well made 50 and was replaced by Hammer. As he walked out to bat I suggested he have one ball as a sighter and then go after the bowling. Of course he ignored me completely and hit the first 2 balls he faced for 6. Hammer went on to score 54 from 19 balls, seeing out the innings with JC. Together they put on 55 runs…..with JC contributing a very valuable single to keep Hammer on strike. So at the end of 30 Misfits were 187, about 35-40 more than it looked like we were going to get at the end of the 27th over.
So quick glass of water, a smoke and back out to field. I told Hammer that he wasn’t up to standard and so wouldn’t be getting a bowl, he seemed to take it pretty well, only calling me *&*# twice before trudging off to his fielding position. Natu opened with Coco and quickly reduced the SCC to 3 down for not many. Time to introduce the secret weapons. Bear, Phil, Jellyman, Rich and even JC (who was still wandering around in a daze, calling everyone “Priscilla” and asking if we had seen his pink miniskirt and nylons!!!!!?) plus myself managed to get through a couple of overs each with some mixed results. Natu ended up with 3 I think, as did Rich Mason….Coco got 2 (maybe) I got 1….does that add up? No it doesn’t, so someone else must have picked up one as well. Whoever it was I am sorry, I don’t have the score-sheet and I just don’t remember, perhaps I should check with Charlie he is sure to remember …”Ja bru, pretty sure it was Morne ja!”
So everyone except Ollie (who was keeping,) Sherpa who couldn’t be arsed and Hammer (who just wasn’t quick or good enough) got a bowl. The SCC were all out for 130 odd as the Misfits enjoyed an emphatic victory with pretty much everyone contributing something worthwhile.
On a final note, I don’t think I have ever played in a Misfit game where there were no dropped catches, until Saturday that is….Jellyman took a very sharp one at gully, Hammer took two absolute screamers at mid-off diving full length to snag them one-handed just before they hit the dirt…a couple from CoCo and even I managed to hang onto one at point.
A great day, a good victory and a very solid drinking performance to round it out.
Molly's Misfits FC CHAMPIONS - Promoted....again by Skipper
In what has now become a habit, Molly's Misfit FC have been promoted in the ESPZEN Sunday competition for the 5th season in succession
A 2-1 victory over Holland Park on the final day of the campaign, saw MMFC clinch the Div 4 title by a single point over Japanese rivals, FC MYK. (Match report here >>http://www.espzen.com/matchreport_frame.asp?matchno=13067)
Misfit Cricketers Jose Khannagio, Phil " Tevez " Childs, Jacques Whiskin, Rooney Radders and Sir Jiggy Ferguson all made appearances to contribute to the successful campaign.
Director of Football, Sir Jiggy says, " We want to build on the success of recent seasons, so will look to bring players into the squad to strengthen the side, and ultimately fulfil our ambition of Div 1 football. We are a very hungry group of players, which probably explains those XXXXL size jerseys we had to order "
See here for more info>>> http://www.espzen.com/teamsdiv.asp?teamno=526&leagueNo=86
And get in touch if you fancy a run...
Ashes Report: Pomís Gallant Effort to Get Climax Only Result
In arguably the most talked up Singapore Ashes game in recent times, unfortunately (for them) the English lost (again).
Credit to the ‘English’ team though, and their young skipper Phil Childs, who had pulled together a strong cricketing (and multi-cultural) team on paper and certainly put up a great fight against an Australian side that in recent times had all ready lost a couple of Ashes stalwarts in Juzzie and Toddy, and were missing up to 5 of their regulars, including the heart/ chest (Hammer) and soul/biceps (Pete).
Nevertheless, after a very new-age ‘toss’ being done via email during the week - with Aussie skipper, Inzy, quite remarkably showing some signs of kindness towards the opposition; by agreeing to bat first so that many from the English team could watch the Wales vs France Rugby World Cup semi-final on the side lines later in the day (whilst their team was batting - what team spirit eh !), the Aussies had the ‘kick-off’ as the clock struck 1pm.
Despite a lot of inclement weather in the days leading up to the game and some ominous clouds in the distance, Ceylon Sports Club was in all of its glory; basked in sunshine, a freshly cut outfield and both teams raring to go - despite the English having to enter the field for some reason still missing two of their players, not mentioning names (MAROOF and WHISKIN).
‘Beewah’ Beer and ‘MS’ Dorney opened the batting for the men from Down Under and got things off to a relatively lively start taking the score to 28 for no loss after 3 overs. Beewah, appearing a little like an albino eskimo in mating season with his heavy application of very thick white sun screen all over his dial, in particular looked the goods; playing a marvelous array of Viv Richards/ Virender Sehwag-esque clobbers off the back foot to the on and off side square boundaries, where of note, several balls sailed quite bizarrely through vacant/ remarkably fielder-free parts of the field at very catchable height, but I’m sure not mentioning names (MAROOF or WHISKIN) there very good reasons why there were no fielders to put in such key positions at that crucial early part of the game. And, hey, surely a couple of cheeky boundaries at the end of a game can’t really mean that much?
Tim ‘Dougy Bollinger’ Hird bowled well early on for the Poms and, after perhaps being unlucky to be dispatched into the bleachers off the first ball of his second over, got one back on his old sparring partner MS (13) the very next ball; removing him plumb LBW with a late inswinging, very fast delivery which all players from both teams openly stated as being the best ball they’ve ever seen.
Dene ‘Herschelle’ Border came in at 3, and with Beewah, continued to take the attack to the Pom’s. Hershie (25), after again looking the goods particularly from some very deft flicks off his pads, became the first of three victims for Mohan, who also again bowled with excellent rhythm for just a 16 year old and is surely going to be a real force in years to come (I believe he may even have an Australian relative, Inzimam?).
Not long after Hershelle’s departure, Beewah also fell to Mohan for a very well compiled 30 and then apparently ducked over to the Gleneagles 24 Hour Walk in clinic for some quick spinal replacement therapy; due to the ferocious force he was placing on his frame during some of the pongos throughout his knock!
Nevertheless, the two new batsman at the crease were skipper Inzy and Ben ‘Cracker’ McLeod, and what a crucial part of the game this really was; the fixture certainly being very evenly poised with the Aussies at 3 for 75 off 10 overs. But as they say in the classics, “catches win matches” and not mentioning names (KEVIN ROBERTSON), a tough chance was dropped behind the sticks when Cracker, only on 1, chased and proceeded to nick a very rare wide-ish one from from Childsy, who was probably bowling the best fast bowling spell anyone had seen from him in Ashes memory. Back to the catch though, yes, a good effort it was from Big Kev to become vertical with the ground about two metres off the earth athletically diving to his right, but as coach used to say, probably best to try and get two mits out there next time Kev.
Inzy played a typically brutal innings of 25, which was rather entertaining in the fact that out of the 15 balls he faced, reports have it that he tried to hit 15 of them back to Australia. Cracker (49) went on to play arguably the match winning innings for Australia, a knock which included a couple of amazing wristy flicks which resulted in two towering sixes onto the nearby cricket nets. The arrival of Cracker’s wife with him one short of his half ton, and then seeing him get out right away on this number was certainly more than a little humorous, particularly after Inzy’s kind plea to the Australian team at the start of the day to have at least one man retired at 50 (not that it really mattered).
Sick Boy Simmonds (10) also had a rather interesting time out in the middle. After apparently having more than his fair share of loudmouth soup the night before in his volunteer role to keep the local members of the opposite sex somewhat entertained on their Friday evening, and perhaps thus being in the ‘hall of mirrors’, he certainly looked good in his throw downs (almost killing half a dozen spectators and that funny looking toy machine near the gents dunny’s with a ferocious cover drive from only around 15 metres away).. however, Phil proceeded to play arguably the most girly looking shot ever to get dismissed – perhaps, unconfirmed rumors have it, in memory of Sully – backing away from a sharp Childs delivery only to in the end tap it to the point fieldsman for the softest of catches (umpires, Charlie and Abhi, who had kindly donated their time for the afternoon, and were trying very hard not to dry reach having had to witness such femininity in a male Ashes game, apparently said they even heard a girly noise come out of Sick Boy as he gently prodded at the offering!).
All in all, the Aussies ended up with a very competitive total of 218, with some quite amazing late hitting from Coco Power (hitting his first ball for a zac into the site screen, playing what appeared to be a straight sweepshot off the medium-fast bowling of Pearcy*!) and The Angry Jockey (hitting arguably the highest shot of the day for another straight pongo).
The poms came out with what looked like a very interesting strategy of ‘batten down the hatches’ for the first 15 overs … to keep wickets in hand for some late pongoing or simply to allow half the team to watch the ruggers, who knows? However, alas, after some classic Geoff Boycott like batting for almost all of the 14 and a half overs he was in, unfortunately, and not naming names again (BIG KEV), one of the pommy opening batsman forgot about this pre-drinks strategy, losing concentration and his wicket at this most vital of times.
Post drinks, some very solid Ashes cricket was played with first drop Maroof (having finally arrived with a very interesting excuse about someone nicking his cricket kit), showing signs of class with some mature stroke play – before being dismissed via a brilliant catch close to ground in the ring by Beewah, and the remaining opener, Richie, digging in like an Alabama tick (although, quite the opposite of Beewah, he was going for the no hat/ no sunscreen approach and, later in the day, there was chat of his melon getting some usage as a beecon for aircraft landing in Singapore).
In terms of the Aussie bowlers, Henry ‘Hoosier’ Duddy introduced early by Inzy bowled very well getting plenty of G,R & D (Grip, Rip and Dip for anyone not part of the spinners fraternity), ‘The Chief’ Brad Paterson bowled with some excellent sizzle and control as always, whilst debutant and first change seamer, John ‘Brackos’ Nihill, seemed to have learnt a lot from Maroof’s slower bowls earlier in the day (bowling very slow for much of his ‘fast bowling’ spell J).
However, alas, it was not to be for the Pom’s, despite a fantastic cameo with the bat from a seriously in-form Childs (who very unfortunately for the Poms, like Richie as well, had to retire at 50), and some solid hitting from Nick ‘Tubby’ Taylor in the final over(s), and even when it looked like Herschelle may have “dropped the world cup”, somehow putting down a relatively straightforward catch in the outfield (including where the ball at one point ran down his back!), the English fell 8 runs short (If memory has it correct, 8 runs is two boundaries right?).
A great game though, and full credit to the English for getting so close – I think it’s fair to say that it’s not often that the team with the two highest scorers for the day and the leading wicket takers loses, but hey, there’s no ‘I’ in team (although as old rugby coach used to say “there are 5 ‘I’s’ in Individual brilliance) … some interesting things to think of I’m sure, and perhaps in summary maybe the crew from the mother country could try and work on the ‘teamliness’ element then? On this note, has anyone seen Robert Peter William Michael Gunther Hands around of late – I thought he was quite a good bat for the poms?
Cheers fellas, and also, well done also to Pearcy who apparently got a hatrick?!